i have some issues with my past self but she was young and i forgive her my real beef is with present me what is she doing im embarrassed to even look
More you might like
imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine
my waitress was pouring me more coffee and she said “sorry there such tiny cups” and I accidentally said “they sure are handsome little boys” and she just looked at me and walked away I don’t think I’m going to be able to look her in the eye for the rest of the meal or ever come back here again
look I totally love girls and stuff but being friends with girls who aren’t feminists is so fucking exhausting like Idgaf that Suzy sucked dick for a McChicken last night Debra mind yo damn business
look down your shirt and spell attic
a titty i see
just one
i only see one
where did my other boob go
imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine
OH MY GOD GUYS
I WAS AT DISNEYLAND AND I SAW THIS LADY GO UP TO THIS LITTLE GIRL DRESSED UP AS THOR AND SAY “that’s not ladylike” AND THE LITTLE GIRL JUMPS INTO A FIGHTING STANCE POINTS HER HAMMER AT THE LADY AND SAYS “SUCK MY ASS” WITH THE MOST SERIOUS LOOK I CANT
THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT
uterus during period: Ohmygod I’m so embarrassed. I thought we were having a baby. DONT LOOK AT THIS! *rips down baby wallpaper* PLEASE JUST IGNORE THIS! *tears apart baby room* LETS PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED.
